Quotes: Moe Szyslak Favourites

.
Moe Szyslak: "If you’re going to beat up my friend in my bar, it's a 2 drink minimum"

“I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.”

“Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'”

“Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.”

Moe Szyslak: “Thanks Homer, no one's ever trusted me before. Except for that one guy who shouldn't have.”
Homer: “That was me.”

“One thing Moe Szyslak has never had is a partner. Nor a wife, a friend, a chum, a casual acquaintance, a pen pal, a parrot, a meaningful conversation, a brief hug, or eye contact. I'm just going to call the suicide hotline now.”

“Ehh, they think they’re so high and mighty. Just because they never got caught driving without pants.”
.